40. Wacky Wales

Wacky Wales

3 March 1975

Picture: A shrine comprised of a golden rugby ball beneath goalposts. Dialogue from the episode: “Ay, rugby! We worship the game, we do.” —Reverend Llewellyn Llewellyn Llewellyn (Llewellyn)

Wacky Wales appears to have been written from the second half backwards, starting with the notion of sport as religion and then scripting a pun-filled escapade to Wales from which to launch this escalation into absurdity.

Tonally, the episode could slot in as part of Series 1 or 2 and seem perfectly in keeping. Indeed, it forms a kind of work/holiday trilogy alongside ‘The Greenies’ and ‘Scotland’. The Super Chaps pack, travel, meet the guest star, then tend to the issue in question by allowing it to spiral out of control!

Wales, of course, offered tremendous amounts of wordplay potential.

Signs reading ‘Please Drive Caerphilly’ and ‘Llan-Dlubber’; the lads settle down for their train ride from one end of the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Station to the other!

(The journey from one end of the train station to the other is no less comedically effective for Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch’s being an actual village!)

The throwback feel of ‘Wacky Wales’ is furthered by the presence of a bona fide guest star: Jon Pertwee, born again nine months after his Doctor Who swansong.

Picture: Jon Pertwee as the Reverend Llewellyn Llewellyn Llewellyn (Llewellyn), holding a candlestick, presiding over a holy book. Dialogue from the episode: Bill: Good evening, Vicar. Nice to see you. You’ve run out of booze. Llewellyn: Booze? Ah, so, it’s booze you’re wanting, is it? Bill: Yes please. Llewellyn: Well, you’ll get none of the devil’s brew here. Bill: But this— what a rotten pub! Tim: Excuse me. Any chance of a nice hot cup of tea? Llewellyn: Ah, so it’s tea now, is it? Tea is a foul potion of the Orient, a stimulator of the flesh, an inflamer of the senses. Bill: Oh, gorblimey! I bet nobody ever comes in this place, do they? Llewellyn: Certainly not. Oh, we’re righteous people, right enough. You’ll catch none of us committing one of the nine thousand, seven hundred and sixty-four deadly sins... Regrettably, though, we are a dying race. There is not many of us left. Graeme: Pretty low birth rate, I should think. Llewellyn: Birth rate? You mean babies? We have none of that sinful wickedness here. Tim: Do you have sandwiches? Llewellyn: Sandwiches? You mean food? We allow no voluptuous indulgence of the carnal appetites. Where does eating get you, eh? You’ll be wanting lavatories next. Bill: Oi, don’t tell me you haven’t got any lavatories. Llewellyn: Temples of Beelzebub! The open door to hellfire and brimstone! The hot seat. Bill: No wonder you’re a dying race. I should think you’re all dying for a— Tim: Shh! Bill!

Just as Patrick Troughton had enjoyed himself immensely playing Dr Wolfgang Adolphus Ratfink von Petal in ‘The Baddies’, so too does Pertwee throw himself into the role of the stern and severe, pleasure-quashing Reverend Llewellyn Llewellyn Llewellyn (Llewellyn) of the Church of the Seventh Day Repressionists. The scripting and performance of Pertwee’s lines are particularly astute, laying the foundation for the big reveal: that all the abstinence and misery associated with Wales (by jumped-up outsiders) is in fact because the Welsh are keeping themselves in top shape… to play rugby!

For much of the episode’s remainder, the humour stems from a) puns:

Picture: The Reverend Llewellyn gives Bill a disapproving look. Dialogue from the episode: Llewellyn: You contestants will be judged by a jury of druids, and the winner will be pronounced bard. Bill: Bard? I should think he’d be ruddy awful!

…so much so, that the church appears to have been fitted out with cobwebbed-draped pub accoutrements purely so that the Reverend Llewellyn can don a judge’s wig after the eisteddfod[1] and address the disgraced Goodies as ‘prisoners at the bar’ !

…and b) from the melding of rugby and religion.[2] The Ecclesiastical Seven-a-Side tournament admittedly loses some of its impact with constant rewatching, but it must have been truly side-splitting at the time. Bill’s song ‘Play the Game’, a rousing rock number, comes late in the piece but brings home the antics as the Super Chaps employ their own peculiar brand of cartoon logic to out-cheat the druid ring-ins!

Graeme marks out a rectangle in white paint, which the druid team comes to stand upon. He then marks out a lever, which he pulls up, opening what is revealed as a trap-door!

In a bumper season of sustained excellence, ‘Wacky Wales’ is likely to remain overlooked; yet it’s an appealing episode in its own right, and worth coming back to.

Jacob Edwards, 3 March 2025

Tweets:

Jon Pertwee as Reverend Llewellyn stares at the Goodies. Above: a banner for the Llan-Dlubber International Eisteddfod Below: TV titles for the Ecclesiastical Seven A Sides
Tim packs a goldfish (in its bowl!) into his suitcase, then tries to pack an umbrella (which he then uses to shield himself from Bill).
The lads riding their trandem (Graeme passing his camera back to Bill), then tending to it when the radiator overheads. Bill carries a kettle.
Picture: The Goodies outline their Welsh credentials to Reverend Llewellyn and the druids. Dialogue from the episode: Bill: Not Welsh? Ooh, cheeky boyo. I’ll have you know that Shirley Bassey was my granny! Graeme: And I used to work down the same pit as Tom Jones— Bill: Tom Jones! Graeme: ...Harry Secombe— Bill: Harry Secombe! Graeme: ...and Mary Hopkin! Bill: Mary— Bill/Everyone: Who??
Bill as referee; Tim and Graeme as linesmen; five members each of the Archbishops and Methodists.
Mary Whitehouse in a prim, pastel-blue dress, stiff-arms a monk and kicks him on the ground.
Six scenes of Tim (or his stunt dummy) being hurled around in place of a rugby ball.
Picture: Bill dressed as the pope, Tim and Graeme in Sunday dress. Dialogue from the episode: Bill: Right, where’s the old boots, then? Tim: That’s sacrilege, that is. Anyway, Graeme and I are going to morning service in St Paul’s to celebrate the sabbath in a proper and solemn manner. Grey? Tim/Graeme: [chanting] Is he almighty? [clap-clap-clap-clap] Amen!!

[1] Bill: “I went for a cup of tea and eisteddfod dinner!”

[2] And from playing to Welsh stereotypes (including hamming up the Welsh accent). Should we string the lads up for cultural insensitivity? Probably! In true Goodies style, Tim acknowledges the inappropriateness… and then makes a joke of it:

Picture: The Super Chaps sing from sheet music. Dialogue from the episode: Tim: What a load of rubbish. Bill: Good enough for the Taffy druids, isn’t it? Tim: Bill! That’s enough of that sort of talk. The Welsh are a very sensitive people. If you upset them, they break your fingers.

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Jacob Edwards